


Confessions // Seungjin

by smilesungg



Series: Confessions Trilogy [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Short Chapters, letter format, slight angst I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilesungg/pseuds/smilesungg
Summary: Hwang Hyunjin had three confessions to make:One to himselfOne to his parentsOne to his best friendHe had the perfect plan for these confessions, but when new boy Felix joins the school he releases time is running out and his best friend might disappear.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: Confessions Trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195244
Kudos: 8





	1. 'The triplets'

**Hyunjin's POV**

Studying with Seungmin in the library is bliss, being around him just gives me the best feeling. We'd been best friends since I'd found him hiding in the Wendy house behind the pre-school from my friend Minho.

Even back then I found it hilarious how difficult it was for my two closest friends to get along, they weren't that different in personality and yet they were constantly fight like cats and dogs.

I don't think I completely appreciated Minho's point of view on the situation until last year though, from his view seungmin had basically taken his best friend and I can't imagine how much that sucked.

Not until the beginning of last year at least.

We had a new student join our school from Australia. Lee Felix. Don't get me wrong he is one of the nicest people out there. He seems to care for everyone even if they couldn't care less about him, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was Seungmin was one of the only ones in our year, other than Jisung, who could speak English well enough to show him around the school.

They became friends incredibly quickly. Sometimes it felt they were closer to each other than I was to any of my friends. I started to notice when the didn't want people to know what they were saying to each other they would talk in English, sometimes with Jisung and Chan joining in to.

This led to me feeling left out and rejected, finally, after 13 years of friendship with Minho, I understood how he felt.

What the boys didn't know is that when Minho and I finally grew tired of being left out of conversations we started to learn English ourselves. With the help of Chan, who had promised to keep quiet about it, Minho and I started to be able to decipher their conversations and figure out what they were saying, never joining in, but knowing that we could if we wanted was comforting.

That was until the conversations turned from fun weird conversations about what each of them had seen on instagram or tiktok, to conversations they obviously didn't want even Chan to hear. Every time you approached them they would walk away. If once I was lucky enough to finally be able to talk to Minnie, Felix would come over and they would walk away.

It was one of those situations where I wish I had the confidence that Minho has. When he was going through a similar thing he made sure that every time something happened I knew about it. That I knew what was wrong and why. How he felt even if he new I didn't get it.

It didn't take long for me to know I had been replaced. The three of them now had a name going around school. "The triplets" how much I despised that name. Just the mention of it made me want to punch some one.

The problem with the whole situation. I couldn't bring myself to hate them. Felix was one of the sweetest people in the world and nothing could bring me to think differently. That was what I hated. That I couldn't hate him.

What I wanted more than anything was just for Seungmin to come back to how it was before. Our weirdly clingy friendship that you could tell for us meant that if one was in trouble we could go to the other.

I have also know for a long time that one of the reasons it hurt so much that Seungmin left wasn't just the feeling of friendship. So before I leave to study abroad I have three confessions to make. One to myself, One my family and friends and one to seungmin.


	2. confession 1

_To Minho,_

_I guess I'll start with you. It's taken thirteen years for me to understand but I finally do. That pain you feel when you aren't your best friends priority anymore. The ache that is left when you final realise that you have been replaced. I know it's too late now and nothing can change what happened when we were kids, but I want to apologise. No one should ever have to go through that pain it's not fair on anyone._

_This past year has been one of the hardest thing I have dealt with and I thank you for being there through every step of it._

_I know what you're gonna say when you find this. That I'm a coward for running away and I know that. I wish I had your strength. Everything you do you are always so confident in. I have only ever felt that when we dance._

_This situation gets harder and harder to deal with the more I think about it because I've finally realised something. I didn't just feel the hurt from being pushed out. I felt the jealousy of not been the one Seungmin was clinging to anymore. I wasn't the one he needed anymore and before you say he did need me, we both know it's been a long time since anyone has actually needed me to be there for them._

_I love him Minho._

_I love him more than anything you could possible give me in the world._

_That's why I've done this. He doesn't need me and I need to get over him. You understand don't you. Say this was Jisung and you (don't deny the fact you like him). What would you do?_

_I've tried everything I could think of in the past few months to get over him with out leaving but it hasn't worked._

_Im going to study in the US for a year. Get away from everything. Clear my head._

_I'll be fine._

_Promise me something Minho. Never let this happen to you and Ji. You two are the most adorable thing I have ever seen and even though you're not dating, never let you friendship go to shambles._

_As much as I know you already dislike him don't blame any of this on Seungmin its not his fault. And before you jump to the next person it's not Felix's fault either. It's my fault for not controlling my heart and for falling for someone who could never love me back. So please don't blame them. They've not done anything wrong._

_Please stay safe._

_See you in a year._

_Hyunjin_

**Minho POV**

I can't fucking believe this. I don't want to fucking believe this. The asshole didn't even have the guts to say goodbye properly. No matter what he said I know Felix and Seungmin are the are the main cause of this. If they had just once thought about others feelings he would still be here with us. That was always the plan. Me, him and Seungmin where going to finish high school together every year of it. That wasn't going to happen anymore. I lost Hyunjin once because of this asshole and now I've lost him again. I can promise you one thing Hyunjin, some-ones going to end up with a black eye.


	3. confession 2

_Dear Chan,_

_I guess you're the logical second person. I think I'm putting off Felix's and Seungmin's because I know once I start there will be no end._

_I want to thank you. I mean you put up with me and Minho pestering you for months before you finally taught us English and I know we weren't the easiest students to work with. You have been the most amazing person for me this past year, with out you and Minho I don't know if I would have even got this far._

_Really I want to thank you for everything. You where like an older brother to me. The type of older brother I wish I could have been for Innie so for that I am forever grateful._

_It turns out you teach me English will come more in handy than we thought. I'm going to America for the year. I just need some time to clear my head and get rid of any possible element of me liking Seungmin more than a friend. I know that's going to take a while and although I tried, believe me I tried so hard, I just can't do it here. Maybe a change of scenery will help I don't know._

_I know Minho is probably going to think I'm running away from my problems. I also know he is likely to blame Felix or Seungmin and I promise you it's not their faults._

_So I know I am no position to ask this and I know you are going to protect Felix anyway, but please don't let Minho hurt anyone. I know what he can get like especially if he feel someone has wronged one of his friends. So please don't let him hurt himself or anyone else._

_I have one more thing to ask of you before I go and that is please keep an eye out for Innie I know he says he's fine, but I can see that this is tearing him apart. With the time differences it will be too difficult for me to be able to call him much to make sure he's okay. So please look after him for me._

_One last request and this one is to benefit you. I gave up dance this year because of everything that was going on. Dance has always been the on thing that no matter what the situation kept my head above the water but recently it has made me feel like I'm suffocating. What I want from you is to never let that happen to you with your music. I can tell how much writing and 3racha means to you so please never let it get to the point where it feels like a chore to record something or write something. Make sure that, even if you have to write something silly like wow again, you never fall out of love with it, because I can tell that one day one way or another your music is going to change someones life and make it so much better._

_Continue to be that forever caring person but remember not to be afraid to take a step back. You don't always have to be strong. Everyone around you will always be there to listen._

_I guess this is goodbye for now._

_Thank you for everything._

_See you in a year,_

_Hyunjin_

**Chan's POV**

I could feel the tears on my face before I realised I was crying. The weren't tears of sadness and they weren't tears of joy they were just tears. The type of tears you get when you're happy for someone for finally doing what they needed, sad because that person means so much, angry because that person felt that they had to leave and terrified because some how they read you like an open book. Every word that Hyunjin said you could tell he meant it. It was horrifying to think that something that once brought him so much peace now brought him pain.

I knew he wouldn't want to see the tears, he was doing this so he could get better, but god do I wish it had never gotten this far.


	4. Confession 3

_Hi Jisung_

_I guess I don't really have an order to writing these anymore._

_We never really got off on the right note did we. I can't even remember the real reason anymore. I do remember thinking you where incredibly self-absorbed and overly confident, I realised recently that that was all for show. Don't be afraid to let others see your weaknesses. I'm always a message away if you need me._

_I want to thank you. Although we aren't close you have always been a good friend to everyone in the group even at the times when they didn't completely deserve it. You are a very loyal person and I hope on day we will be able to be friends properly, but that won't be fore a while._

_I also wanted to apologies for the fights I've caused with you this year. Nothing has been going right for a while and every emotion and feeling of pain I had I took out on you. I know that's not a good excuse, but I was trying to cling to any fibre of a friend I had left in anyone and the only thing I could see, as irrational as it was, was that you were removing the only person I had left from my life and that was Minho. In a way it seemed like he preferred you, it took me a while to realise why. I took it out on you because everything was falling apart, everyone was leaving and again I know that's not a good excuse._

_I can see now that I was wrong. I understand that everything I put you through, every comment, every fight, every single practical joke, no matter how funny it was to me or how much it helped the release of anger at the time, had no place and caused you more harm than it did me good._

_I wish more than anything to apologise in person but I don't have the strength. I want to hide it. Every emotion I've ever felt towards you guys, because it makes leaving so much easier, if I pretend you don't exist then there is nothing left here to miss, does that make sense._

_Please, I know I have no place to ask anything of you. Watch out for Minho. He's going to act strong after I leave pretend like it doesn't affect him but we both know that's a lie. Stay with him please. Don't let him shut you out. He needs you and you make him happy._

_Again I'm sorry for everything,_

_See you in a year,_

_Hyunjin_

** Han's POV **

That annoying little bitch. Minho's going to do something fucking stupid because of him. When will he grow a pair and talk to people about his problems instead of running away from them. That twat. He's such a fucking idiot. Actually that's unfair Seungmin could have just spoken to him too but that's besides the point. I am half tempted to find him just to tell him he's a twat. I can't believe this. I have to find Minho now before he kills someone.


End file.
